At any age, it is difficult, yet as a teenager with allergies it can be so much harder.  You will often have the dilemma of ‘what shall I say?’ or ‘should I tell them now?’ or ‘will it impact what we decide to do?’ – and ultimately it can actually make someone stop in their tracks and cancel on a potential partner. 

Let’s face it – the key to this is feeling that very quickly you could come across as a person who is ‘difficult’, who is ‘tricky’ or ‘high maintenance’ and who wants to go on a date with someone where there are so many things to consider before you even know them? 

Even arranging something might be challenging. What if they suggest things to do and you know, if you agree to that, you are immediately going to have to talk about your allergies, what you can or cannot do, what you can or cannot eat and drink? It can all feel overwhelming. 

Then you might go to the thought of what if it goes well and my date wants to kiss me for the first time, what if I have to say “Have you eaten nuts?” .

Having allergies puts extra pressures on navigating first dates, and even when making new friends. 

I am grateful every day that I met Matt, who loves me for who I am, and all that comes with me.  He asked me to marry him, knowing about my anaphylaxis and other allergy problems which means they don’t only affect my life, but his too.

It’s asking a lot of a person for them to give up certain foods, that may even be their favourite, because if they eat them, they can cause you to suffer life threatening reactions. Also, in my case, Matt cannot even have peanuts when I’m not around just in case there are traces on him when he gets home. 

Here are my tips for trying to deal with this in a positive way which gives you confidence on a first date. 

Consider first how you met this person? Is it someone you already know so they already know about your allergies and they’ve still asked you out. This is a fantastic starting point because you can then say, with a very light touch – “I’d love to do that however I do need to consider what we eat on that date”.

If it’s a date via an app service, hopefully you’ve put the allergy information in your bio on that site. Don’t hide from it, it’s best to be upfront so that you’ve put it ‘out there’ early doors. Then those who don’t like it will move along and never bother you. Those who do, will be clicking knowing something about you. 

Try to chat a little online first, that can get some of those facts out into the open very early on. Just as someone might do if they are a wheelchair user, or have a disability, or have been married before, who may have children. In the world of dating, everyone has a past,  everyone has some life experience which can impact how they choose a date and who they date. Or talk to them on the phone if you want to go old school. This helps break the ice around the subject. 

If it’s a blind date, set up by a third party, then ensure that that third party gives that potential date enough information to know that they need to consider your allergies – in most cases that person setting you up will be a friend. 

Why not consider a first date which is as risk free as possible? Could you go for a walk? Or meet in a place that’s public, at lunchtime where it’s more light touch for that first encounter? Being able to talk and communicate allows someone to suggest something more ‘romantic’ and then you can talk about where to go – and where might not be suitable for you? 

Even with dating, it’s often about the upfront contract, the information you share and how open you are at the start. Once someone sees, hears and considers that information and still wants to spend time with you and perhaps have a deeper relationship – you know that their interest is such that they are not seeing your allergies as a barrier. 

Equally if, in having shared that information openly and honestly, you get the feeling on your first date that this is going to be an issue for them, then you can draw a line under it yourself. There’s no point in spending a moment with anyone who constantly reminds you through their conversation, their body language or tone of voice, that your allergies are a total pain. 

Ensure that you share enough information so that, when it comes to dating, those who are worth your time and your ‘love’ will easily rise to the top.